Business Lessons From a First-Time Father

On this occasion, my first attempt writing a Father’s Day Blog as an actual father, I find myself scrambling to even comprehend the topic, much less wax poetic about it—but for you, dear readers, I will try.

My wife and I just welcomed a wonderful (and snorty and cozy) baby girl into our world. She is our first child, so truly everything about this adventure is new to me. Who knew that helping a new human sleep and eat would be such a complex, ever changing, at times Herculean task?! (Answer: Parents knew).

In the face of so much to learn and do, I find myself relying on some hard-earned truths from years of tackling thorny projects that require a brand-new knowledge base, lingo, and deliverables.

Find Your Guardrails
It may be surprising or might even feel like bad advice to start with something other than, “Dream Up Your Plan,” but hear me out. I have often found that when I am entrusted with a large, new task, finding the inviolable rules first helps narrow the potential scope of the project. This doesn’t sound particularly fun or inspiring, but I have found it to be extremely helpful to develop an early framework (guardrails) for the next big idea. While happy project management gurus often extol a “never say no” approach, having some sense of what’s actually possible can save a lot of time and heartache once you start dreaming big. Before I start to sell tickets to my daughter’s NCAA championship basketball game, I need to know the basics of how to keep her alive and healthy.  Not to mention realistic expectations for when hand-eye coordination and depth perception kick in. Even a version of her future where she eventually plays for the WNBA has to, ultimately, occur in reality. And reality has rules. In higher education: Before I start telling everyone I’m opening the greatest University that New York City’s ever seen, I should probably check if the New York state licensure agency is even taking applications and perhaps start the school on the observation deck of a New Jersey-based ferry instead.  

Make a Plan (Dream)
Once you have a basic sense of the gotta-do’s, it’s time to make a plan! Get the right people in the room and start with the dream/ultimate goal. Let the happy warriors put the fun in fundamental project management. [Insert your favorite campy “teamwork makes the dream work” quip here]!

As the plan takes shape, break it down into actionable pieces, to the best of your knowledge and ability at that moment. This is not the moment to be paralyzed by a lack of knowledge. If you don’t know how something can be accomplished, but you feel it is still within the broad framework you established in step one, make that note and keep going.

I don’t have the whole plan yet—my daughter might want to be an astronaut, a ballerina, or a lady who knits tiny hats for dogs and sells them on Etsy—but I can see and start considering pieces of the plan. We know we need to save for education expenses (whether that’s ballet school or a PhD in astrophysics), we know we need to alter our lives so that we have a consistent schedule, we know we need to have conversations about how to raise a confident young woman in the 21st century.

Our dreams for her future are just beginning to be bantered about during lighter moments (e.g., when the baby is sleeping) and, already, even those faintest suggestions of dreams require concrete actions. I am here for it!

Establish your Mentors and Experts
One business-y lesson I am finding particularly applicable to fatherhood is the importance of experienced mentors. As a new dad, it is really helpful to seek advice from mentors, parents, or friends whose parenting style I’ve observed and respect. Sometimes, these people’s input is the only thing that can lower your blood pressure long enough to let you actually hear their sage wisdom perfect for the moment. In business or higher education, too, try to find people that have been there, or at least have parallel experiences you can draw from.

If you run into unique situations where your mentors don’t have requisite or parallel experience, it is important to have identified experts you can call. If your baby is running a fever and acting weird, you call your pediatrician. If your financial reports look weird and your accountant pulls up in a Bugatti, you call a CPA.

Asking for help and perspective from people you trust is crucial to keeping the train on the tracks. But choose wisely, because too many opinions will make a mountain out of a mole hill and a camel out of a racehorse. Anyone who has ever tried to google “Why is my baby making this weird sound,” can confirm this.

Refine as You Go / Take the Small Wins
This is not exactly earth-shattering, but it is an important reminder. In all things (business, parenting, life, quidditch, etc.), having to make adjustments to a plan in motion is not a sign of failure, it is the consequence of progress. As you learn from mistakes and recognize wins (of any size), you are building a framework of knowledge that accelerates you toward your goal. This is simple, but it also takes work and diligence. While I certainly don't call informal conversations with my wife "cadence meetings" (though, she'd probably be fine with it), they do often function the same way. We check in with each other—How’s everyone doing? Who needs a break? Who needs a snack? Some days are easy, and some days are hard, and both require different approaches. In business, cadence meetings are often maligned, but can be incredibly important. Whose department is drowning this week? How can we shift things to help cover? What did we learn from that near miss on Thursday? If you don’t know how things are going currently, you won’t know much about how they’ll work in the future either.

So, yeah. That’s been the first few weeks of fatherhood—me sitting comfortably at a boardroom conference table making objective decisions that I’m 100% confident about. Just kidding, I literally haven’t showered in 3 days. If you know, you know. Happy Father’s Day!